Resistance is Futile
About 10 years ago, my husband Sean and I went through a period we now refer to as ‘The Summer of our Discontent’. Starting in July, bad things happened…..lots of them…..in quick succession. Deaths, illness, accidents and surgeries were piled on top of all the regular stuff of life like car troubles, house repairs, family baggage, work hassles and…..well……you get the picture.
Before this dreaded period began, we were strolling through life, minding our own business, watching more than our share of Thursday night TV, and generally doing what people do. Sure, stuff happened….some of it a total bummer, but nothing we couldn’t handle.
Then BAM! The shit started hitting the fan and just wouldn’t stop. Life changed……in a big way.
I was determined to make some sense of the chaos. So I immersed myself in hundreds of books, teachings, practices, courses and philosophies. I started using what I learned to navigate a WHOLE LOT more of life’s ups and downs that came our way, and it helped. Eventually, we came out the other side more equipped to cope when bad stuff happened.
But almost a decade after the summer of our discontent began, I finally realized something. Although all the books, courses and practices were supremely helpful in getting us through the rough patches, and I am grateful for it all, the real ‘healing’ came down to one thing – acceptance.
Here’s the deal........
When life bitch slaps you square in the face, and it will, because that’s part of being human, you can either choose to resist or to accept what has happened. That’s it. Seems simple enough, but it took me 10 years to ‘get it’. Even now, when something cruddy happens, I sometimes forget that I know this. I get all incensed and pouty and outraged and then eventually, I snap out of it and remind myself that that approach has never gotten me anywhere before, so it’s unlikely to work this time.
Ultimately, ‘resistance really is futile’. You can’t change what has happened and stomping around and/or scarfing down boxes of Twinkies and buckets of wine only makes it feel better for a little while. Eventually you have to come up for air and, I’m sorry my friend, but the shit show will still be there when you do. There is no getting around it. Trust me, I have tried! Nope, the only way out is through. But the good news is, the sooner you choose to accept the reality of what has happened, the closer you are to feeling some relief.
It ain’t gonna be easy, but it can be done. And it will be soooooo worth it! I can attest to that.
So do me a favour. Do yourself a favour! If you find yourself facing an avalanche of crap, and you’ve eaten all the Twinkies you can handle and you don’t know what else to do - sit down, take a deep breath, and declare your acceptance. Allow things to be exactly as they are without trying to fight or control or deny. This act might cause you to cry your eyes out or lie down and sleep for three days solid, and that’s okay. You deserve a rest! You’ve been through hell and you’re exhausted! When you’ve run out of tissue and woken up from your slumber… you can decide what to do next.