Everyone On The Titanic Was On The Same Boat Too
(Random Thoughts From Today)

(Photo: Brett Jordan on Unsplash)

Chaos Tiles

Why do people take positions of power/leadership if they are not, in fact, willing to lead?

Have you ever read a definition of “leadership?”  Cause I just did, and it’s pretty vague.

Maybe that’s the problem.  Nobody actually knows what it means.  It’s too open to interpretation.

Maybe we need a new definition.

One that’s less tied to our patriarchal understanding of what it means to be a leader. 

Actually, fuck the patriarchy. 

No. That’s not harsh.

It’s the reason we’re in this mess.

And by this mess, I mean Covid, Climate Crisis, Health Care Crisis, Economic Crisis, Opioid Crisis, Mental Health Crisis….and every other fucking crisis you can name. 

Don’t believe me?  Good. 

Go do some research on Patriarchy and Capitalism and all the crises.  Then come back and talk to me.  Otherwise, I don’t want to hear it. 

And be discerning about where you get your information.

Also, fuck capitalism. (See above)

No, we are not all in this together.  Have you looked around? 

I mean, I used to recite that line too, in the before times.

Remember the before times?

They weren’t that great either.  Even though we like to tell ourselves they were.

Anyhow, I suppose we are all in this together, in the way that everyone on the Titanic was on the same sinking ship.  But you know what?

Some were steering the ship. Some were there taking orders and tickets.  Some were in first class cabins with their black ties, pearls, servants, privileged titles, and upstanding family names. Some were there with the clothes on their backs. Some were scrubbing the decks and the toilets. Some were on an exciting adventure.  Some were escaping their shitty lives. 

So, you can be on the same boat, but not in the same boat, you know? 

Does menopause make your skin itchy?  Cause holy hell, this is driving me nuts!

I’m gonna Google it after.

I really should make a Drs. appointment one of these days.  It’s been like, I don’t know, maybe three years since I’ve been.

Wait. What year is it again?

Can you even get in to see the Dr. if you’re not having a major malfunction these days?

Seriously.  Who the fuck even knows what the rules are anymore?

It’s a total free for all. 

Except that we’re in lockdown. 

Well, kind of.  I mean, I’m pretty sure whoever decided it was a good idea to use that term didn’t really know what it meant. 

Kind of like the leadership thing (see above).

So yeah, lockdown. 

Except if you have to go to school or work, or to exercise, or to the fucking dollar store, or pretty much ANYWHERE!  

Oh, but not to a small business or restaurant, or to a live performance of music, theatre or art because, fuck those people.  Who needs music and art and a sense of community?

But, if you want to go shopping to buy a refrigerator or some new underwear while you’re grabbing your milk and bread at Costco – go for it. 

Just as long as you don’t go anywhere else, K? 

Well, except those other places like work and school.

Yeah, school.

Cause kids don’t get Covid.

Well, I mean, they don’t get it that bad.

And they don’t spread it around.

Well, except for sometimes when they’re all crammed onto the same bloody school bus with kids from half a dozen other schools.

Or maybe when they aren’t wearing their masks at lunch.

And then of course, when they visit with their elderly grandparents, or their parents who live in the same house as they do, Covid takes a break then. 

You know.  Cause it doesn’t want to be a bother and like, kill anyone.

Except when it does.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW??!!

Where are the people we can trust?  Where are the ones that were elected and appointed, and hired, and willingly took on the responsibility to LEAD? 

I wonder if this is how people in the Wild West felt? 

Seriously.  Have you seen Deadwood?

If only Sherriff Bullock, Al Swearengen, Trixie, Sol and Calamity Jane would come take matters into their own hands right now.  We might stand a chance.

How do people ignore all this shit and just carry on with life like it’s all someone else’s problem to worry about and solve? 

I DON’T UNDERSTAND!  Someone please help me understand. 

My brain does not work that way, clearly.  

I think it might be on account of being Highly Sensitive.

Yes. It’s a real thing. 

No.  It’s not woo-woo bullshit. 

Yes.  It’s backed by Science. 

No, I’m not explaining it to you. 

Go look it up…. and be discerning about where you get your information. Always.

Oh, good.  One of my kids just came to tell me they’re taking a shower now.

WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW THIS??!!

Omg, what I wouldn’t give for one fucking uninterrupted hour to myself. 

These kids, who I would rip my own heart out for, are starting to crack too.

I mean, how can I blame them for wanting to tell me every random fact that crosses their minds? 

Who the fuck else do they have to talk to?

They’ve been home since March, for chrissakes.

MARCH! 

Do you know how long that is?

It’s March again in a month!

OMG.  Why am I so angry all the time?

Actually, don’t answer that. 

I’m not really looking for input.

But maybe read up on the patriarchy. 

Yes.  Even if you’re a woman. 

Especially if you’re a woman. 

But if you’re anyone else too.

And, definitely read Soraya Chemaly’s, Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger.

I have a lot of reasons to be angry.  

We all do, if we’re being honest with ourselves.

And I’m done apologizing for any of them.