Practical Magic for Soul Liberation

I have a lot to say....

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Sometimes it's serious, sometimes it's silly, but it's always the truth.

Mostly, I share my stories and the wisdom gained from my own journey, in hopes that it helps you on yours.

Reflecting on 2016 & Some Practical Magic

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A few years back, our little family started a tradition of having a night where we hang together, discuss the preceding year and ask for some guidance in the form of what some might consider the witchy woo practice of drawing oracle cards. 

Do we necessarily believe in magic/magick?  Well, to varying degrees among the four of us, yes.  But maybe not in the way you’re picturing.  I’ve come to consider my perhaps less than orthodox practices, rituals and beliefs as forms of ‘practical magic’. 

It’s o.k., you don’t have to get it.  But, maybe you're someone who feels a resonance with these kinds of things too.  If you do, you're not alone. 

Lately, I've been having so many flashbacks to my childhood and realize that my relationship to all things mystical, has always existed.  In fact, although it's never openly talked about, belief and experience with the witchy woo, runs in the family. 

What I've come to know, is that using these kinds of ‘magical tools’ is really more a way of listening to your intuition/soul/divine guidance (or whatever you choose to call the greater wisdom that we all know or have experienced on some level… even if we dismiss it or call it coincidence).

Old Habits Die Hard

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Ever find yourself on a roll?  Walking around head high, feeling pretty confident that you’ve got this whole work, parenting, relationship, healthy living (insert life area of your choice) thing mastered?  Like, “Huh, look at me over here.  Doing pretty damn good.  Got my ducks in a row.  Got my shit figured out. Yep, really liking the direction things are going” and then BAM! You wake up one day and feel like your ass has been kicked right back to square one. 

After 6 months of eating healthy, you’re suddenly sneaking your kids’ Halloween candy every night after they go to sleep. 

You’ve been killing it at the new job all year but today, a project lands on your desk that leaves you feeling completely overwhelmed and wondering why these people were stupid enough to hire you.  Don’t they know you’re incompetent, dammit?

You have skillfully avoided the family melodrama machine for ages, and then cousin Fred sends you an email about how he got left out of Grandma’s will and now he can’t get those hair plugs, so you spend the next week embroiled in a real life episode of Coronation Street. 

You’ve been feeling like parent of the year lately.  You haven’t lost it on your kids for a whole two weeks, and then someone leaves their toothpaste spit in the sink again and without warning, you’re pulling a Linda Blair on everyone in the house.

When What You Think Is Distraction, Is Actually

Your Truth Calling

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I recently read a Facebook post by Danielle LaPorte titled, 'The royal practice of overcoming distraction.'  It really hit home for me.  What she says so often does, but this particular message resonated big time.  It was exactly what I needed to hear at the right time.  As I’ve come to know, that’s the way things work when we’re paying attention.

I’d just been talking (well maybe more like venting) to my husband about how frustrated I’m feeling with being pulled in every damn direction this year.  Despite my honed ability to say no, there still never seems to be enough hours in a day to do all the things that need and want doing.

The past several months, I feel like there are just too few of me.  I swear if I could, I’d clone myself like Michael Keaton did in that old movie, Multiplicity.  But as I recall, that didn't turn out so well. So, on second thought, maybe not the best solution.

It Turns Out Jim Morrison Was Right

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Lately, I’ve been contemplating my own mortality a lot.  Yeah, I know.  That’s a little heavy right?  If that makes you uncomfortable, I personally think that’s a good sign.  But if you don’t want to ‘go there’, then feel free to stop reading right now, because ladies and gents, it’s gonna get a little real up in here for this one.  So you know, your choice.

Still with me?  Awesome.  I knew you were one of the brave ones. 

So yeah, contemplating my own mortality.  This is not something I’ve ever really done before, unless you count the obsession I had with death for a short time when I was a kid.  Don’t judge, I hear that’s normal.  Even if it’s not.  Have you met me? 

Mostly, I’ve walked through life with a, perhaps irrational at times, sense of immortality.  See, me and Noel Gallager (and I'm pretty sure Keith Richards) all had the same plan, to ‘Live Forever’. 

To The Woman In Line At Starbucks

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You’re a few spots ahead of us in line. My son points you out.  Thankfully he’s past that age where he just blurts out whatever’s in his head, in public at least.  Instead, he tugs on my arm so I’ll lean down and he whispers in my ear, “Mom, I get the feeling that lady doesn’t like herself very much.” 

I squeeze his shoulder and silently agree.

See, I'd already noticed you, but I kept my thoughts to myself. The very exact thoughts he's having.  I would never say what I was thinking to him, or anyone else out loud.  But he brought it up and it’s clear, we're seeing and intuiting the same thing.

Here’s What We All REALLY NEED To Know About
The Brangelina Breakup

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OMG! Have you heard the news about Brangelina? Of course you have because you can’t fucking escape it. Trust me, I’ve tried.

Yesterday, an article showed up on my newsfeed titled, 'The Brangelina Divorce - Everything You Need to Know'. I refused to share it or even read it, because people, here's what I (and all of you) REALLY NEED to know about Brad and Angie’s breakup... S.F.A.! In case that’s not an acronym you're familiar with it stands for, Sweet. Fuck. All! THAT folks, is what we all REALLY NEED to know about the whole ordeal. Exactly NOTHING. Rien. Nada. Neinte.

We NEED things like water, food, a roof over our heads and social connection. We NEED to know if we are in clear and present danger. But the details of the Brangelina divorce, are on exactly nobody’s list of ‘things I need to survive’. Clearly, the author of the article in question, was never taught the difference between an actual need, and a weird fucking desire to be a voyeur into other people’s personal lives. There seem to be a lot of folks in the mainstream media who missed that class.

Feeling All The Feelings - The Day After The U.S. Election

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Today, like many of you, I’m feeling all the feelings.  Usually, words come easy to me, at least the ones I write down, but today the feelings are coming fast and furious and leaving little room for the words.  Today, the day after the U.S. election, the day after the majority (well, not REALLY the majority) of our closest neighbours chose to elect Donald Trump to lead their country, I can’t stop feeling all the feelings.  I know eventually, this too shall pass because it always does, and so today, all I can do, is feel all the feelings.

Be Careful What You Wish For
(Our Boring Summer - The Epilogue)

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Yep, it’s September!  Back to school and all the rest of it.  Except for this time, it feels a little (or a lot) different around here.

Back in June, I wrote about how we planned on having a boring summer, free of major commitments or big plans.  One where aside from regular work duties, we did a whole lot of whatever we felt like, whenever we felt like it.  One where our kids would have to find ways to occupy themselves without constantly being shuttled to day camps or other activities.

When we decided to do this, it was mostly because we were spent.  We needed a break from several years worth of juggling too many commitments and having too much on our plates.  We just couldn’t fathom another summer that felt like an extension of the busy-ness of the rest of the year.  And although we’d already taken some steps to say no to a lot of things that wanted our time and attention, it just wasn’t enough.  Once you get a taste of that kind of liberation, you want more.  Also, with me working at home, it didn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense to us (financially or otherwise) to send our kids off to camps all summer.

It turns out that we got a lot more than we bargained for.  Sure we got more down time than we’ve ever had.  Which was the point.  But what we weren’t expecting is that the last few months have been kind of like hitting the re-set button for our family in so many ways.  We never anticipated it, but we’re all feeling pretty damn good about it right now.

Here's what happened...

How To Cope With, Or Stave Off, A Panic Attack

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This morning sucked.  Well actually, it started last night and continued this morning.  I’ll spare you the details but suffice it to say that ‘shit’ occurred.  Shit that I clearly saw coming but that I’ve learned from experience, could not be stopped no matter how much I didn’t want it to happen.

Anyhow, point is, I slept like crap because even though I’m approaching ninja level boundary setting capability these days, the aforementioned shit really, really got to me.  It got to me bad.

See, boundary setting doesn’t mean you’re a selfish, cold, compassionless human.  In fact, it usually means that you care and feel everything so damn much, that you’ve learned if you don’t set boundaries, you will be sucked into a vortex of pain and turmoil so powerful, that it will render you completely non-functioning, incapable of rational thought or action, and basically of zero use to anyone. 

Learning to set boundaries was born out of pure self preservation for me, and for many other people who would rather be alive, mostly sane and productive than, well, the opposite of that.

So, despite the boundary setting, the shit got to me so much this morning that I started to feel the symptoms of a panic attack coming on.

Here We Go Again!

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I got the call just after 3:30 a few Tuesdays ago. I’m not sure if it’s because on some level I was expecting the other shoe to drop, or because around here, we are no strangers to upheaval and surprises of the, ‘not always warm fuzzy’ variety, but my reaction was underwhelming. Bordering on nonchalant even.

“I just got let go,” he said.

Pause while the thought, “So this is how it’s gonna be eh universe?” runs through my head.

“Wow. I’m really sorry. Are you o.k.?”

His reaction, equally as underwhelming, “Yeah, I’m fine actually. Maybe a little surprised, but really o.k. I’ll stop at the grocery store on the way home and I’ll fill you in more when I get there.”

When we hung up, deep breath, long exhale, and out loud this time, “Well then, here we go again I guess.”

Another life change. Another new beginning.